Dear Fat,

   When we first met I was young and vulnerable. I needed you for warmth and comfort. People used to say how good we looked together. However, as the years have gone by, I've realized how different we've become. Fat, this is very hard for me to write; I'm letting you go.

   I know we've been through this time and time again. I've let you go then taken you back on so many occasions. This time it's really over.

   You wanted our relationship to grow; I know growth is important to you; but I think we've grown apart. I know you'll always be there for me. I'm sure I could live off of you if I needed to. Thank you, but no thank you.

   I'm sure you'll find someone else very soon. You can smother them, just like you did me. You always were so clingy. You really know how to get under my skin. I needed something calm; you kept making so many waves.

   Don't worry, when people ask me about you, I won't be critical. I'll just tell them we went our separate ways. I'm sure heads will turn at the beach, after all, we always went there together. Goodbye.

Cheerfully,

Your Ex